The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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