This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
