that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
