I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
