We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
