i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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