This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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