Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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