Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize