I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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