end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
