Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
