Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
