that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
