i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
