she was so not down for the gang bang
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
