i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
did you just send me my own nude
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
