so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
