I seem to have left my pride at pride
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
