I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
