I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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