everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
