I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
