do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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