the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
