He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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