Me. At least after what I've been through.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
