Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize