i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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