he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
