so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
FUCK WHALES
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
