she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Someone came in the potted fern
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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