Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
