You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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