This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
