why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
