just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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