her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
