just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize