Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Terrible idea I love it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
