I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
now i know why i became what i already was.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
