the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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