help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
