So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
