I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
