guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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