I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
