I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
