Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
