96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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