You just made me feel so damn special
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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