its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
