I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
