This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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