Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
