Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
