john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
