? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize