Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
