Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
